I sit with her sometimes

I'm not in a happy mood.
I don't call this a bad mood, I think that it's important to feel like this sometimes.  I hate feeling angry, that's a bad mood.  Hurt, not a good feeling.  Upset, bad mood.
Sad, important.
God, I sound about as fun as Emily Dickinson right now.

I don't know why I feel sad.
Actually, I do.
As much as I'm used to it, I don't want to be that friend anymore.
The one who sits there, and tries to interact, but ends up feeling like a dickhead.
The one everyone wants to shut up.
And the one who wants to shut up.

Okay, obviously it's not that dramatic.
Still.
I just feel like everyone thinks I'm the least mature. and they might be right sometimes.
I mightn't be as weathered as them.
I mightn't be as clever as them.
Or as adventurous.
Or as exciting, different, funny.
But I thought I was fun at least.  Or my company was enjoyable.
And we did go to Brisbane together.
But I have, for a long time, felt like the one left out.
I used to just ignore all this, in Japan, I mean.  The difference here is, they are used to different.  In Japan, there are just a lot of racist people.
I dunno.  Maybe I just don't understand people.

In other news, I worked eight hours today, which was good for my bank.  It was also a good day, so I wasn't too bored or crabby.  Until about five-thirty, when I realised my break was an hour late.  I got my (ten minute-) break at a six-fifteen, in the end.
Fun times, man.

Oh, and I've lost two kilos.
Joy.

Finally, Joanne's off Masterchef (old news, but I'm still celebrating).
Best news I've heard in ages.